First

I'd like to start this blog by just explaining a little bit about me, and what I hope to accomplish here. I am 28 year old professional living in Chicago. I live a relatively "normal" life, rent a two bedroom apartment with my fiancee, have a good corporate job, and deal with the same pressures and stresses of most people in my generation.

Over the past few years I have dealt with some anxiety issues. Usually, when I am faced with a life decision (or even just a regular old problem), I am bogged down with a sense of anxiety, dread, or fear. It could be something minor like a car repair, work stress, family issues, or finances. Major life decisions create even more stress. When I took out a loan for my fist car purchase, I was up a couple nights agonizing over the decision. But I needed a car for my job. This was something I had to do.

I know this is something many people my age struggle with. The explanations for why this is the case are many: We were coddled as children and adolescents, told we were perfect, we expect to make our first million by the time we are 30, we expect life on a silver platter. And when we don't get these things, our generation freaks out. I think there might be grains of truth to these explanations, but I think there was more than that going on in my life. I think it has more to do with the effects our consumerist society, which is not limited to Millenials.

Anyway, about a year ago it all became too much. I knew I had to do something to not just cope with these anxieties better, but actually put things in a proper perspective. I saw a therapist, but only for a couple sessions. The sessions themselves had some usefulness, but the best outcome was some of the reading materials recommended to me. I began to explore writings about Zen and contemplative meditation. I still struggle with anxiety. I probably always will. But the last year of my life, through reading, meditating, adjusting my life philosophies and expectations, and just changing the perspective with which I view the world has helped me immensely. 

I would like to use this blog as a way to both release my everyday anxieties, but also as a way to share my approach with other people who deal with similar problems. I will talk about what has worked for me and share insight from others (who are much smarter than I). Hopefully, someone will read this and maybe talk about what has worked for them. I'd like to learn something too.

I am in no way an expert in Zen, Buddhism, meditation, or really anything - I can't even change my own oil. But I do think I have amassed some experience in coping with fear and anxiety that might hold some value. At least that is my hope.